Marriage and the Home
MARRIAGE & THE HOME

MARRIAGE & THE HOME

--Includes marital relations & parental duties

 

1. Marriage:

A. God has ordained & blessed marriage:

                Gen.2:18 The Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him

                Pro.5:18  Be blessed: & rejoice with the wife of thy youth

                Pro.18:22                Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, & obtaineth favour of the Lord

                Eccl.9:9a Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life...which He (God) hath given thee

                Mat.19:4,5a            (God) made them male & female...for this cause shall a man leave father & mother, & cleave to his wife

B. Marriage is the solution to many problems:

                1Cor.7:2  To avoid fornication (sexual immorality), let every man have his own wife, & every woman her...husband

                1Cor.7:9  Let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn

                1Tim.5:14               I will that younger women marry, bear children, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully

C. It gives strength & companionship:

                Gen.2:18 God said, It is not good that man should be alone

                Eccl.4:9-11             Two are better than one...they have a good reward

                1Pet.3:7  Heirs together of the grace of life

D. Marriage is a commitment:

                Ezk.16:8  I sware unto thee, & entered into a covenant with thee ...& thou becamest mine

                (See also Hos.2:19,20)

 

2. A husband's responsibility toward his wife:

A. The husband is to tenderly love his wife:

                Eph.5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, & gave Himself for it

                Eph.5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies

                Eph.5:33a               Let every one of you...so love his wife even as himself

                Col.3:19  Husbands, love your wives & be not bitter against them

B. The husband is to honour, praise & please his wife:

                1Pet.3:7  Husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife...the weaker vessel

                Pro.31:28                Her husband also (arises up), & he praiseth her

                1Cor.7:33                He that is married careth... how he may please his wife

C. He is to listen to & heed his wife's wise counsel:

                Judg.13:19-23        [Manoah's wife wisely explained that there was no need to fear]

                1Sam.25:9-33         [Abigail, the wife of Nabal, wisely pacified David]

                2Sam.20:1,2,7,13b-22            [Wise woman of Abel "went unto all the people in her wisdom" & spared her city from destruction]

                2Ki.4:8-10               [Woman of Shunem] said to her husband...[Elisha] is an holy man of God. Let us make (him) a chamber

                (See also 2Sam.14:1-15; Dan.5:10-12; Mat.27:19.)

 

3. A wife's attributes & responsibilities:

A. The Bible's description of a virtuous wife:

                Pro.11:16                A gracious woman retaineth honour

                Pro.12:4  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband

                Pro.19:14b              A prudent (wise, understanding) wife is from the Lord

                Pro.31:10-12           Who can find a virtuous woman? her price is far above rubies (See all of Pro.31:10-31)

                Pro.31:26                She openeth her mouth with wisdom: & in her tongue is the law of kindness

                1Tim.3:11               Their wives (should) be grave (reverent), not slanderers

                Tit.2:4     Teach the young women to be sober (serious)

                Tit.2:5a   To be discreet (wise), chaste...good, obedient

B. Her duty to guide the home & children:

                1Tim.5:14               Marry, bear children, guide the house

                Psa.128:3                Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine

                Pro.14:1a                Every wise woman buildeth her house

                Pro.31:27                She looketh well to the ways of her household, & eateth not the bread of idleness

                1Tim.3:11               Even so must their wives be...faithful in all things

                Tit.2:4     Teach the young women...to love their children

                Tit.2:5a   To be...keepers at home (homemakers)

C. Examples of how wives should not be:

                Pro.7:11  She is loud & stubborn, her feet abide not in her house

                1Tim.5:13               They learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house...tattlers & busybodies

D. Virtue is more important than physical beauty:

                Pro.11:22                As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion (good judgment)

                Pro.31:30                Beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised

                1Pet.3:3-5               Whose adorning let it not be outward...(but) the ornament of a meek & quiet spirit which is (very precious)

 

4. Duties of wives toward their husbands:

A. To be a companion:

                Pro.31:11                The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her

                Mal.2:14b               She (is) thy companion, & the wife of thy covenant

B. To love & please their husbands:

                Pro.31:12                She will do him good & not evil all days of her life

                1Cor.7:34b             She that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband

                Tit.2:4     Teach the young women to...love their husbands

C. To be subject unto the husband:

                1Cor.11:3                Know, that...the head of the woman is the man

                1Cor.11:8,9             Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man

                Eph.5:33b               (Let) the wife see that she reverence her husband

                Col.3:18  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

                (See also Tit.2:5; 1Pet.3:1a .)

D. Submit out of love for Jesus:

                Eph.5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord

                1Pet.3:1-6               Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands [with]...a meek & quiet spirit...in the sight of God

 

5. Spiritual ministries not restricted to men:

A. Women's place in spiritual ministries may equal or surpass men's:

                Gal.3:28  There is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus

                Rom.2:11                There is no respect of persons with God

B. Women disciples & leading workers of the early church:

                Mk.16:9  [Mary Magdalene was honoured by being the first person to see Jesus after His resurrection] (See also Lk.8: 1-3; Jn.20:1-18.)

                Jn.19:25  [When all His male followers--except John--fled & hid, faithful women stayed with Jesus at His crucifixion] (See also Mat.27:55,56)

                Rom.16:1,2             I commend to you Phebe...receive her in the Lord...assist her in whatsoever business she hath need of you

                Rom.16:3,4             Priscilla & Aquila my helpers [Priscilla, the wife, was often respectfully mentioned first--Acts 18:2,18]

                1Cor.16:16              Submit yourselves unto...every one [women in cluded] that help eth w/ us, & laboureth (Also 1Thes.5:12,13)

                Phi.4:3a  Help those women which laboured with me in the gospel

                (See also Rom.16:6,12a,13; 1Tim.5:1,2; 2Tim.4:21.)

C. Paul's personal preferences were not intended to be taken as law:

                1Cor.14:34,35         (Compare with Joel 2:28; Acts 2:17.)

                1Tim.2:12               (Compare with 1Cor.7:6,12a,25)

D. Wives who were honoured & exalted:

                Judg.13:1-10          [Angel appeared to Manoah's wife twice, later to him]

                1Sam.25:38,39        [God slew wicked Nabal, but honoured his wife, Abigail, by having her marry David, future king of Israel]

                2Ki.4:8-37               [The "great woman of Shunem", not her husband, was the honoured one in this story] (See also 2Ki.8:1-6)

                Lk.1:26-35              [Archangel Gabriel appeared to Mary first; three months later to Joseph--Lk.1:56; Mat.1:18-21]

                Lk.1:46-48              [Mary prophesied:] All generations shall call me blessed

                (See also Judg.4:17-23; 5:24; 2Sam.20:1,2,7,13b-22.)

E. Women prophetesses, anointed of the Spirit:

                Exo.15:20,21           Miriam the prophetess [sang a victory song]

                Judg.5:1-31            [The victory song of the prophetess Deborah, & Barak] Lk.1:39-55 [Elizabeth & Mary, filled with the Spirit, prophesied]

                Lk.2:36-38              Anna, a prophetess... served God night & day

                Acts 2:17               I will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh: your sons & your daughters shall prophesy (See also Joel 2:28)

                Acts 21:8,9            Philip...had four daughters...which did prophesy

F. A woman who judged & ruled God's people:

                Judg.4:4 Deborah, a prophetess...judged Israel at that time

                Judg.5:6,7              The inhabitants of the villages ceased...until Deborah arose...a mother in Israel (See Judg.4:1-10,23,24)

 

6. Harmony & marital peace:

A. Harmony is important to a Christian marriage:

                Col.2:2    Hearts...be comforted, being knit together in love

                1Tim.3:4,5              If a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?

                1Pet.3:7  Heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered

                1Pet.4:8  Have fervent charity (love) among yourselves: for (love) shall cover the multitude of sins

                (See also Tit.2:5)

B. Arguments should be avoided:

                Pro.17:9  He that covereth (over) transgression seeketh love

                Pro.17:14                Leave off contention, before it be meddled with

                Pro.21:19                It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious & an angry woman (See also Pro.25:24 )

                Pro.27:15                A continual dropping (dripping) in a very rainy day & a contentious woman are alike (See also Pro.19:13b)

                Phi.2:3    Let nothing be done through strife

                Col.3:13  Forbearing one another, & forgiving one another, if any have a quarrel against any (See also 1Pet.3:9)

C. What marital strife & disharmony does to the home:

                Pro.14:1  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh (pulls) it down (See also Pro.24:3)

 

7. Marriage & lovemaking:

A. Sex in marriage is pure, holy & ordained of God:

                Heb.13:4a               Marriage is honourable in all, & the bed undefiled

                1Cor.7:28a              If thou marry, thou hast not sinned (See also vs.36)

B. It was ordained for the procreation of the race:

                Gen.1:27,28            Male & female created He them. And God blessed them, & God said unto them, "Be fruitful, & multiply"

                Mal.2:15 Did not He make (them) one? Wherefore one? That He might seek a godly seed

                (See also Jer.29:6)

C. In marriage, man & woman are joined as "one flesh":

                Gen.2:23 (She) is now bone of my bones, & flesh of my flesh

                Mk.10:6-8               God made them male & female...a man (shall) cleave to his wife; & they shall be one flesh (See Gen.2:24)

                1Cor.6:16b             Two, saith He, shall be one flesh

                Eph.5:31 A man...shall be joined unto his wife, & they two shall be one flesh

D. Conjugal pleasures a gift from God:

                Pro.5:18  Let thy fountain be blessed with the wife of thy youth

                Pro.5:19  Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, & be thou ravished always with her love

                Song 7:6-12           How pleasant art thou, O love, for delights

                (See also Psa.19:5; Song 1:1,4,13; 2:3,6,16,17; 4:6,1016; 5:4,5; 8:3,14.)

E. Sex is a marital right, not to be used to punish or reward:

                1Cor.7:3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: & likewise also the wife unto the husband

                1Cor.7:4  The wife hath not [exclusive] power over her body, but the husband [also]

                1Cor.7:5  Defraud (deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with (mutual) consent for a time

F. Husbands should treat wives with honour & love, not merely as sexual objects:

                1Thes.4:4,5            Possess his vessel (wife) in...honour; not in the lust of concupisence (excessive desire)

 

8. Marriage vs. celibacy:

A. Those who forbid marriage are in error:

                1Tim.4:1-3a            Some shall depart from the faith...forbidding to marry

B. Even priests, bishops & church officials are advised to marry:

                Ezk.44:21,22           [Priests given specific instructions on how to marry]

                Lev.21:10a,13        [Even the high priest was instructed to marry]

                Mat.8:14 [Even the apostle Peter, considered "the first Pope" by some, was married] (See also 1Cor.9:5)

                1Tim.3:2 A bishop then must be...the husband of one wife (See also 1Tim.3:11,12)

C. Celibacy & forbidding to marry can lead to problems:

                Gen.2:18 God said, It is not good that the man should be alone

                1Cor.7:9  Let them marry: for it is bet ter to marry than to burn

                Rom.1:27                Men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another

 

9. Divorce, remarriage, marital infidelity & forgiveness:

                (Regarding the Scriptures on divorce, remarriage, infidelity & forgiveness, there are such wide differences of opinion, interpretation & application between leading Christian theologians & denominations today, the editors felt it best to refrain from outlining them here in order to avoid appearing dogmatic about such a sensitive & personal issue. Some churches believe that the New Testament forbids divorce & remarriage in any form. Others feel that the passages in question are to be applied as guidelines tempered with love, mercy, understanding & judicial allowances. There are many sincere Christians on both sides of the fence, so the editors felt that the task of doctrinally defining this point was best left to the reader's personal faith & conviction.--"Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."--Rom.14:5b.)

 

10. Parental duties towards their children:

A. Parents should teach children in love:

                Eph.6:4   Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture & admonition of the Lord

                Col.3:21  Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged

B. They should teach them God's Word:

                Deut.6:7 Thou shalt teach them (God's Words) diligently unto thy children (See also Deut.4:9; 11:18,19.)

                Deut.31:12,13        That their children...may learn to fear the Lord

                Psa.78:5  He commanded our fathers that they should make them known to their children

                Pro.22:6a                Train up a child in the way he should go

                Jn.21:15b                Feed My lambs

C. The father should provide their needs:

                2Cor.12:14              The children ought not to lay up (provide) for the parents, but the parents for the children

                1Tim.5:8 If any provide not for his...own house, he hath denied the faith, & is worse than an infidel

                (See also Acts 20:35; Eph.4:28.)

D. The father should govern his children with authority:

                1Tim.3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity (reverence)

                1Tim.3:12b             Ruling their children & their own houses well

E. Parents should chastise children when necessary:

                Pro.13:24                He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (promptly)

                Pro.19:18                Chasten thy son while there is hope, & let not thy soul spare for his crying

                (See also Pro.22:15; Pro.23:13 .)

F. The bad fruit of being an indulgent parent:

                1Sam.3:13               His sons made themselves vile, & he restrained them not

                1Ki.1:1,5,6              His father had not displeased him at any time...saying, "Why hast thou done so?" (See also vs.16-21)

                Pro.29:15b              A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame

                Lk.15:12,13             [Father of the prodigal son gave him his share, & the son then went off & wasted it with riotous living]

G. The misguided family structure of "permissive societies":

                Isa.3:4,5  Children [will] be their princes, & babes shall rule over them...child behave proudly against the ancient

                Isa.3:12   Children are their oppressors, & women rule over them

H. Beware of partiality:

                Gen.25:28               Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob (See also Gen.27:6-17)

                Gen.37:3,4              Israel loved Joseph more than all his children...his brethren saw [it &] hated him (Also Gen.48:21,22; 42:4.)

                1Tim.5:21               Without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality

I. Examples of parental concern for children:

                (See Gen.37:14; 2Sam.18:29; Est.2:11.)

J. Examples of motherly love:

                (See Gen.21:15,16; Exo.1:22 & 2:1,2 & Heb.11:23; 1Sam.1:22-28 & 2:18,19; 1Ki.3:23-27; 2Ki.4:17-20,27; Isa.49:15a; Mat.15:22-28; Jn.19:

                17,18,25.)

K. Examples of fatherly love:

                (See Gen.37:33-35; 2Sam.12:15-18; Mk.5:22,23; Lk.15:20-24.)

 

11. A word of caution to parents:

A. Love & care makes a true parent, not merely flesh parenthood:

                1Ki.3:26,27             Her (heart) yearned upon her son...Then the king answered...she is the mother thereof

                Est.2:7,20               [Esther's uncle raised her as his own daughter]

                (See also Pro.29:21)

B. God blesses the children of obedient, godly parents:

                Deut.12:28             Observe...all these Words...that it may go well with thee, & with thy children

                Pro.20:7  The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him

                (See also Psa.144:12)

C. God may punish parents by afflicting their children:

                Exo.34:7b               Visiting iniquity of the fathers upon the children (See also Exo.20:5; Num.14:18.)

                Job 21:19                God layeth up (the punishment of) his iniquity for his children

                Jer.32:18 Thou...recompensest the iniquity of the fathers into the bosom of their children after them

                (See also Num.14:33; Lev.26:39; 2Sam.12:13-18; 24:17; Isa.14:21)

D. Severe warning against offending children's faith:

                Mat.18:6 Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in Me, it were better...that a millstone

                1Cor.8:9,11,12        When ye...wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ (See also Rom.14:13-21)

 

12. The importance of training your children right:

A. Children will often be no better than their parents:

                Ezk.16:44                As is the mother, so is her daughter

B. Good influence of parents:

                1Ki.9:4    Walk before Me, as David thy father walked, in integrity of heart, & in uprightness (See also 2Chr.17:3)

                2Chr.26:4                He did that which was right in the sight of the Lord...(as) his father...did (See also 2Chr.20:32)

                2Tim.1:5 The unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother...& thy mother

C. Evil influence of parents:

                1Ki.22:52                He did evil...walked in way of his father...& mother

                2Chr.22:3                His mother was his counsellor to do wickedly

                Jer.9:14   (They) have walked...after Baalim, which their fathers taught them

                (See also Ezk.20:18; Amos 2:4; Mat.14:8.)

 

13. Parents as "good shepherds":

A. Parental responsibility to protect their children:

                Exo.2:1,2 [Moses' mother defied Pharaoh & hid her baby] (See also Heb.11:23)

                2Ki.11:1-3               [Baby Joash's aunt hid him from the wicked queen]

                Mat.2:13-22           [Joseph was warned of God to flee into Egypt with Mary & baby Jesus, & only to return when it was safe]

B. Parents' responsibility to defend their children:

                Jn.10:11-13             The good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep

                Neh.4:14b              Remember the Lord...& fight...for your sons & daughters

C. God will help you:

                Isa.49:24,25            I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, & I will save thy children

 

 

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